Sunday AM Still Dark

I love to get up early, even on weekends. I usually have no choice, and get up after forcing myself to lie there a while. I gave in when my head started to drop around 9 last night and took the doggies to bed. Slept until 6, amazing. I think I needed the rest. I still think the VOC's (volatile organic compounds) coming off all the new construction at school is making me sick. And then there was the BUG... Big week coming up, so much to do to get ready to leave. I can't imagine going away, but Mia bought me this ticket and my grandchildren need me. They've been tossed from pillar to post with the moves and need their Omi. Matt is gone 12 hours a day - poor doggies. Libby might be coming from the Fingerlakes to buy my remaining pregnant ewes. She's an experienced shepherd with all the accoutrements I wish I had - and HAY. Let's not go there. It took us hours to get 160 bales in yesterday. We had to spread sand over the icy driveway to get the wagon in, then a half hour to chip and bang ice off the elevator with Matt 20 feet in the air snarling colorful expletives. I didn't think it would start at all and we'd be hauling the hay around to the other side, bale by bale but it finally started. Next year will be different, but then I said that last year. I see my dreams drifting away. First having to sell my industrial carder to get through the first winter, then Matt out of work for so long. Hard times. A farm is a giant hole to pour your money into. I thought just buying it was a good start. That was half of it. Then my wealthy friend from NJ came up here to "help me," and became more concerned with other things. It's very awkward. Chris Kupris just had his hours cut by Wal-Mart. How can someone live on 20 hours a week, with his own set of dogs and cats? Just ten years ago he had this giant farm to himself, then the cows got sick and now it's all cut up and shot to heck. This farm is a 200 year old story of friendship and betrayal, family feuds, boom and bust, struggles and heartbreak. What a book it would make. Let me stop whining and get to work and do something.