Goodbye Bandera

Coming home from work is always scary for me. All those little (and big) lives hanging in the balance, waiting for me to come home and make everything right. Sometimes I sit in the truck, watching the kitties jumping on the hood, and meditate before venturing inside. The yearling lamb who I noticed was lying on her side (not a good sign) as I was running out the door, was still there. As usual I was running hard and scared, charging through the barn with my bags, packages to mail, coat and scarf dragging, without a minute to spare. Remember I have morning cafeteria duty and any lateness is immediately noticed. I convinced myself that she would be up by the time I got home, that perhaps she was knocked around when the big sheep went for the hay bales and was resting. No such luck. I left work, made stops at the bank, post office, market and gas station. Pulled in with the crescent moon rising along with that lovely alignment of Jupiter and Venus, and grabbed as much as I could carry. The gas pipe is still blocking the "front door" and there are no steps built anyway, so I have no choice but to go through the milk room and barn. If I could go right into the apt. I could avoid letting the flock see me for a while. The dogs are going crazy and are throwing themselves at the door, so they must be dealt with first. As I went through the milk room door into the barn, there she was - still lying on her side in the same spot. Got inside, collected the dogs and took them out. Got back in and mixed some molasses and water. The sugar and iron in molasses gives a fast energy boost and sheep love the taste. She fought me as I held her jaw up - a good sign. I made her drink a good bit of molasses and picked her up. She stood up alone and ran away from me. I think I can bring her around if I seperate her and feed her individually. I'll worm her, too. Parasites can really drag a lamb down. As I climbed over the gate (to avoid a stampede and escape) I saw something that just crushed me. My Bandera, one of three Texas goats I bought from Brooks Farm in Dallas, was tangled up in some electric wire and dead. I had not noticed her in my eagerness to get the dogs out and the lamb taken care of. I thought she was on her last legs, as she was getting so thin and is so old - about 12 I calculated. She gave me a cute little buck kid last spring and was so fond of her baby. I had been giving her a molasses drink every night to keep her going. I don't know how she managed to find this wire and get tangled in it. Sheep and goats can find the darndest ways to harm themselves. I will miss my old girl. The only Texas girl I have left is Dallas Alice, a very tough old goat and the mother of Lola a very sassy old girl herself. I've conditioned myself to not go over the deep end when my animals die. I take it hard, and it stays with me forever, but realize I have to stay strong to take care of the rest of them. I wish I could say there is safety in numbers, and that is true to a certain extent, but I still grieve...especially for an animal that has been with me from the beginning. I accidentally-on-purpose let Baby Thunder out of the gate and let him follow me into the work room adjacent to the apt. I got him a big ladle of corn and let him gobble it down, all by himself. He is the patriarch sheep, the very first one, and quite mature himself. I don't even want to THINK about it...