All's Well That Ends Well

Who said that? With my liberal arts university education I should know who uttered those famous words but I'm at a loss. Was it Dickens? No,it must be Shakespeare. Shakespeare is wasted on the young. The older I get the more I appreciate him. Sadly, as a History major, with an Ed minor, I got little of Shakespeare in college. The weather today was something Shakespeare would have written about. From the pre-dawn hours it was positively gorgeous, with a brisk breeze, bright sunshine, and perfect temps around 70 in the shade. I'm tearing my apartment apart in anticipation of Hannah and Luke's visit, and also because end of the working school year warrants a "biting of the bullet" as it were. My spring cleaning "is like making sausage - it ain't pretty" (not Shakespeare - Ross Perot!) Boxes everywhere, pulling furniture out from the walls, scrubbing floors, sorting out piles of piles, scaring the heck out of the dogs - Oh No, we're moving again! I might have stolen an hour away to lie on the hillside and watch the big puffy clouds float by, but oh, no, not today, because the CABLE GUY is coming! I was contacted months ago informing me that my satellite dishes are obsolete, and if I don't allow them to come and replace them I would lose my local channels. I opted for the last day possible. I didn't even get the New York City evening news last night. Tragic! Well, the young man came this morning and was, as I expected, a bit daunted by the 240 x 40 foot barn that loomed over him. I went out and together we decided where I would allow him to install the new dish. The last guy pulled a fast one on me and bolted two dishes to the most beautiful and artsy historic part of my lovely old barn - the tiny chicken house that looks like something in an alpine village. I shudder every time I look at them. Now they can be carefully removed. Anyway, the young man had to come in and out, then out and in, following the cables and extensions Matt made when I moved in from the hay mow in the summer of '06, to the little trailer that winter, then into the apartment. After a couple of hours of "Ma'am, Ma'am, could you come out here," and many phone calls to supervisors, he could not get a signal. He decided to replace all the cables and proceeded to do some drilling. Suddenly he popped inside the apartment as I was scrubbing a kitty-corner with Dr. Bonners, and said excitedley, "I made a boo-boo!" Yes, boo-boo. I went out to hear water pouring and yes, it was pouring, out of a pipe he punctured with his drill. Mr. Cable Guy had drilled through a two by four with a Pecks tube on the other side. I was not amused, especially since I forgot how to turn off the water, which was running across the concrete into the apartment, underneath my lovely pine flooring. I quickly called Matt who started shouting instructions like GO TO THE MANIFOLD - what's that??? I hung up and went about turning knobs and pulling levers when the phone rang. I didn't know I even answered it, but somehow Matt heard me yelling at the cable guy to do something, do something and I heard Matt shouting "I'm on my way HOME, I'm coming, I'm coming!" I capitalized on the fear factor and told the young man in my ominous-warning teacher voice that "My Husband is On His Way Home and You Can Explain All This To HIM!" The poor guy was standing in the driveway making phone call after phone call. He would come in the apartment to continue working on the TV that still would not work and I would say, You know I have a flock of SHEEP that I have to WATER tonight! and that sort of thing. He said his supervisor was on the way and I said I hope he's bringing a plumber. I continued my sorting through boxes and piles and heard another voice. It was Matt Scary Bastard Redmond, speaking softly and sweetly to the young cable man, telling him that it's okay, that this happens and not to worry that he would fix it. And Matt did fix it by splicing in a length of Peck's tube, and I had water again, and the supervisor came and forms had to be signed, and the TV came on, and I had a lesson in how to work the new remote that actually has a volume control, and a DVD, and other magical devices. Matt ordered me to give the young man a cold Coca Cola (grrrr....) and I was able to make coffee, and continue my work in the apartment. Maybe I will steal away for some sunset viewing and sip a little sherry - time well spent.