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I didn't hear her voice calling me for a bottle when I opened the barn door like she usually does.  There she was, lying flat on the hay.  My eyes saw it but my mind didn't want to recognize the reality of it.  Little Maya, twin to Cinco, the fragile ewe lamb that I've been feeding bottles to three times a day for the last month was dead.  I've been a shepherd for a long time but it still hurts.  She's so adorable, with those black eyes and tiny black mouth.  Her mother is aged, and that can be an issue with lambs.  Lambs of older moms are sometimes not viable.  She was so weak at birth but I was determined to bring her along.  I thought we were out of the woods when she would call me with gusto to tell me she was hungry.  I don't need this today, with problems at work, but I never need this.  What happened?  I got new hay yesterday, at Homestead Feed, but it was mostly sticks.  Don't think that gave her bloat.  I've bought hay there before and it didn't cause a problem.  It could have been anything.  I banded her last weekend, gave her vaccinations.  I'll kick this around all day, with everything else I have to deal with at school, and never know the real answer.  So glad I have my other babies to hug and love to pieces.