Enter Beastie Boy

Sean Redmond says I never say anything nice about his father. Matt found me sitting on the sidewalk in Morristown with my furniture in a pile, a couple of dogs with ropes around their necks, some cats in cardboard boxes, and absolutely nowhere to go. He moved me to a shack in western New Jersey and helped me get my life back together. Matt told me he was a carpenter and built houses during the 20 years he lived in Austin, Texas. I thought those skills might come in handy. I told him I would marry him if he would wear a kilt and paint his face blue on our wedding night. He said the kilt was as far as he would go. I found the kilt in Kearny, at the Argyle Restaurant where they serve haggis dinners and hold Robert Burns poetry readings. Matt's outfit rental cost a fortune, more than my beautiful silk gown, purchased from the shop across the street from the church in a bargain basement sale. The lovely forest green bridesmaids gowns were rejected by a bride who didn't like the color. I got them for a song. We were married a couple of months after we met. Can you see the fear in my smile? It must have been those homemade Celtic gang tatooes he was covered with, and the cousin who tried to recruit him for some Irish "political activities" when we saw him at a family wedding. I've kept him fairly busy and out of trouble these last 12 years.